


Falling Together, Coming Apart

by houkouonchi



Category: Naruto
Genre: Challenge: kakairu_fest Mini-Bingo, Community: kakairu, Community: kakairu_fest, Imagined relationship, KakaIru Fest 2013, KakaIru Fest Summer 2013, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 11:14:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1264324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houkouonchi/pseuds/houkouonchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakashi is sent to the psychiatric ward after a mission gone bad and Iruka is forced to visit him. </p><p>Written as part of <a href="http://kakairu-fest.livejournal.com/tag/team%3A%20team%20ur">Team  Unusual Relationship's</a> contribution to the KakaIru Fest Summer 2013 Bingo for the imagined relationship prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling Together, Coming Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to [Emptymirrors](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cestus/pseuds/Emptymirrors) and [Txilar](http://archiveofourown.org/users/txilar/pseuds/txilar) for all the wonderful beta help and direction! Any and all feedback is welcome!

Iruka looked down at the small, unassuming box in his hands, wrapped plainly in brown paper. Somehow, what he'd meant as a thoughtful gesture now struck him as absurd.  _I should have just gotten flowers._ Besides, he had no idea what type of gift, if any, one should give to someone who was suffering from a mental illness, yet he felt he had to at least make an attempt.

Heaving a sigh, he made his way through the doors of Konoha General Hospital. Wrapped up in his own thoughts, he absentmindedly wandered down the hallway, narrowly avoiding collisions with not one, but two medic-nin who were rushing from room to room. _I really hate hospitals._ Iruka thought and berated himself for the sense of anxiety he felt, but at least he had made it through the entrance without triggering a panic attack.

“Iruka-sensei, are you alright? Your face is all green, like you just drank three week old milk or something.” Naruto asked, sidling up to him as soon as he reached the reception desk. The teenager’s brow furrowed in concern, and he poked Iruka in the forehead, just beneath his hitai-ate.

Iruka sucked in a deep breath and shook his head. “I’m fine Naruto, it’s just that hospitals aren’t my favorite place, that’s all.”

The corners of Naruto’s mouth jerked up and he let out a laugh that was entirely too loud, earning them both heated glares from the nurses behind the reception desk. “Come on, whose favorite place is a hospital? Anyway, our patient is waiting, so let’s get moving!” With that, Naruto grabbed Iruka’s wrist and began tugging him down the hall toward a scowling nurse, who was tapping her foot impatiently.

If Iruka had not received the news directly from Godaime herself, he would never have believed it. Iruka had heard vague rumors that something had gone terribly awry on Kakashi’s latest mission, whispered among some of the more gossipy jounin who turned up at the mission desk. Never being one to pry, he disregarded their talk as the typical overly exaggerated hearsay. It was either that or a complete fabrication, as there was never any shortage of envious village ninja, who were angry that Kakashi never gave them the time of day. Yet now that he found himself close to witnessing what the entire village had been gossiping about, despite all attempts to keep the information secret, he would be forced to accept it as reality, the fact that Hatake Kakashi had gone mad.

The nurse leading them stopped abruptly in front of a door with an Anbu standing to either side of it. Her gaze was frosty as she spoke. She was definitely not helping Iruka feel any more at ease.

“Gentlemen, you have fifteen minutes to visit with Hatake-san. You are not to ask him any direct questions regarding his condition or what he remembers of his last mission. And finally, you are to do nothing that would cause undue strain or surprise, that goes double for you Naruto. Is that clear?” She would have made an excellent squad captain, he thought. The two men nodded obediently and she stepped aside to allow them entry into the room.

Iruka wasn't exactly sure what he had been expecting to find when the nurse ushered them into Kakashi's room – padded walls or perhaps the lanky man tied to a bed while he thrashed about; instead, his eyes met with a much tamer sight compared to the vivid images supplied by his imagination.

Kakashi, dressed in a standard set of hospital pajamas with the addition of his mask, sat upright on a bed staring out of a small barred window. Kakashi turned to take in his visitors. With Kakashi's sharingan eye closed and the lower part of his face covered, Iruka could not quite make out the other man's expression clearly, but he thought he caught a small hint of surprise as he and Naruto approached.

“Your time starts now. See you in fifteen minutes.”

Kakashi winked at the nurse and snickered at her startled expression, which she quickly replaced with a frown. With one final warning look at Iruka and Naruto, the nurse turned to exit, leaving the three men alone. Iruka and Naruto settled into chairs next to Kakashi's bed, Iruka perching on the edge of his seat, anxious to speed the visit along.

“Iruka-sensei, what an unexpected, yet pleasant surprise to see you here. Although, I have to wonder exactly how Naruto managed to con you into coming along with him.”

Thankful for Kakashi's attempt to lighten the mood, Iruka managed a small chuckle and inclined his head toward Naruto, who scrunched up his face in an answering gesture. “You know how once he sets his mind on something there's no convincing him otherwise. I was doomed from the start. Either way, it didn't really take much convincing, Kakashi-san. I wanted to see how you were.” Iruka's face colored slightly, he actually hadn't intended to say that last part out loud. _Shouldn't this be the other way around, with me trying to cheer him up,_ Iruka thought ruefully.

“Well, as you can see,” Kakashi said, holding up his hands, which were balled into fists and clasped together at the wrist by a pair of glove-like restraints, “I'm doing just fine.” Iruka surmised they were designed to prevent Kakashi from performing any jutsu, although with a shinobi of his caliber Iruka seriously doubted they would hinder Kakashi if he were truly intent on fleeing or causing harm. Kakashi reclined fully onto the bed. “Part of me suspects that owing to my glowing personality, the staff simply can't bear to be without my company and has concocted this whole mental breakdown charade to keep me around, but we'll see.”

Naruto and Iruka exchanged a bewildered glance and Kakashi let out an exasperated sigh. “That was a joke! I'm still allowed to do that, aren't I?”

Naruto scratched the back of his head and grinned wanly at Kakashi. “It's just that you were never really _that_ funny, Kakashi-sensei.”

Stifling a laugh, Iruka suddenly remembered the box clutched in his hands. Figuring there was no time like the awkward present, he decided to present Kakashi with his meager gift. “Umm...Kakashi-san, I brought you this, you know, to help pass the time.” Iruka thrust the package out at Kakashi, extending both his arms toward the other man and bowing his head. “I heard you liked this series, so I hope you like it.”

Iruka waited for Kakashi to remove the package from his hands, and lifted his head when Kakashi cleared his throat. “I truly appreciate your kind gesture sensei, but if you recall, I'm a bit _tied up_ at the moment.” Kakashi lifted his bound hands again and although his lips seemed to smile through his mask, his voice was filled with a distinct sadness. “Naruto, would you mind opening it for me?”

Iruka handed his small bundle to Naruto, who immediately began tearing at the wrapping like a child opening gifts on Christmas. Tilting his head and fixing Iruka with a quizzical look, Naruto asked. “Iruka-sensei! What is Kakashi-sensei supposed to do with a puzzle?”

 _I am a complete idiot._ Iruka thought blushing hotly. He was angry with himself for bringing what turned out to be a useless gift, for embarrassing Kakashi and most of all, for making himself look foolish.

Kakashi's eyes brightened visibly as his gaze took in the newly revealed box Naruto held in his hands. “Is that the limited edition Icha Icha? Where in the world did you find that?”

Iruka thought he detected a small amount of awe in the other man's voice, but dismissed the thought just as quickly as it had entered his mind. Kakashi was simply trying to make him feel better, that had to be it. “I just asked around.”

Kakashi appeared to waggle his fingers inside of his awkward restraints. “Well, as soon as these _incredibly dangerous_ hands are deemed fit for release, I'll get to work on it! Perhaps, you could even drop by sometime and help me.” Iruka hesitated a moment before he chanced a look up at Kakashi. To Iruka, the other man appeared genuinely hopefully and Iruka felt his heart flutter just a bit.

Suddenly flooded with relief, Iruka smiled at Kakashi. “I'd like that, Kakashi-sensei. We'll do it together,” Iruka supposed he would have to get used to hanging around hospitals.

~~~

Since their first meeting in the hospital, as if compelled by some unseen force, Iruka found himself appearing by Kakashi’s bedside more and more often, even without Naruto. Despite his hands being free for weeks, Kakashi would only work on Iruka's puzzle if he were there to work alongside him.

Iruka teasingly chided Kakashi one day as he intently searched for somewhere to place a puzzle piece. “Why do you always wait for me to come visit you to work on this? You know, I could bring you another one once you finish.” He couldn't fathom what else Kakashi could possibly have to do besides read or sit around and stare at the walls.

When Kakashi didn't reply, Iruka worried his lip between his teeth and frowned. The initial impression he'd gotten after his first conversation with Kakashi, that the man only seemed a little banged and bruised mentally, was slowly eroding with each successive visit.

“This is idiotic,” Kakashi sneered, abruptly pitching over the table between him and Iruka, scattering pieces of the half completed jigsaw puzzle across the floor. “Why do you even bother coming here? You must enjoy laughing at me behind my back, along with everyone else. You need to wake up Iruka!”

Some days Kakashi interacted with him normally, acting just as the Kakashi Iruka had known before would, and on other days, Iruka hardly recognized the man sitting in front of him, his sanity flickering violently like the flame of a candle, openly exposed to a breeze.

Startled by Kakashi's reaction, Iruka bent down and started collecting the scattered pieces, hoping to hide his uneasiness. Kakashi may or may not have meant what he'd said, but his words stung nonetheless. “You're right,” Iruka said quietly. “I don't know what I'm doing here, so I guess that makes _me_ the idiot.” Iruka finished gathering the pieces of the puzzle, righted the table and with one final glance back at Kakashi who continued to glare at him, silently left the room.

~~~

It was several weeks before Iruka could bring himself to visit the hospital again. He'd heard that the doctors were still perplexed and debating the cause of Kakashi's breakdown. Yet it was partly at their insistence that he’d returned. Somewhat lost in his thoughts, Iruka, started as a doctor exited Kakashi’s room. 

“He's been asking about you,” the doctor said matter-of-factly, not bothering to look up from the notes he was scribbling. “He seems calmer after you visit, so please come by more often.”

Taken aback by the doctor's statement, Iruka paused with his hand on the door. “Although I'm not sure what it is I can do, I'll certainly try.”

Glancing up from his clipboard, the doctor regarded Iruka firmly. “You don't have to do anything, just be there. He trusts you.” 

Iruka opened the door and regarded Kakashi, seated in his usual spot on the bed, who nodded to him. “Hi there, it’s been awhile.” Without returning Kakashi's greeting, he approached the bed carefully; still unsure and afraid of what Kakashi he might meet.

“I’m sorry, you know, about before.”  Kakashi’s voice sounded weary, but Iruka thought he seemed more like himself. Iruka sat down beside the bed, and watched him with more caution than he would have previously, especially his hands. 

It was something about the way Kakashi used his hands that captivated Iruka. His slim, pale fingers moved decisively, weaving complex and graceful patterns in the air. It was as if the man was conducting an orchestra only he could hear. But lately the melody had become more distorted, and increasingly difficult to follow.

 “Sometimes it’s just so difficult to tell.”

His hands, once so capable and strong could cut a swathe through a line of enemy shinobi mercilessly, or break Iruka’s neck before he’d even have time to think about countering. Iruka often caught himself staring, mesmerized by the motions of those hands.

“What’s difficult Kakashi?”

Kakashi sighed and ran his fingers through unruly hair that was disheveled from sleep. “This. Is it real or not real? What we're doing? You have to help me understand.” Iruka felt a stab in his chest at the pleading in Kakashi's voice.

“How can I help you understand?”

Kakashi’s uncovered eye was large and desperate, searching Iruka’s face for the answer to a question deep down they both knew wouldn’t matter.

Hanging his head, Kakashi refused to meet Iruka's eyes. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. “I'm exhausted. I feel like I'm being pulled in two separate directions at once. Half of the time I don't know who I am or what I'm doing. What if I hurt someone? I should have tried harder to protect you.”

Taking one of Kakashi’s lanky hands in-between his own, Iruka turned it so that it faced up. He began slowly tracing the lines on his palm, so light that they were almost blue, contrastingly sharply with patches of angry red skin. These moments when Kakashi seemed the most lost, trapped in his own mind’s prison, the music he often imagined flowing stuttered and faltered.

“Yes, this is real Kakashi.” Iruka answered softly and a ghost of a smile touched his lips before he continued. “What happened here?” Iruka asked, touching a puckered blister on the pad of one of Kakashi’s fingers.

Lowering his eyes, Kakashi replied angrily. “I was washing them. I told you there’s still blood on them. ” Iruka had been down this road many times since he and Naruto first discovered Kakashi in front of the sink one afternoon, scrubbing his hands so hard underneath a cascade of scalding hot water that they were afraid his flesh might peel off.

Raising the palm of Kakashi’s hand to his lips, he placed a soft kiss in the middle. “Well, I think they’re clean now, and this is real.”

Closing his eyes, Kakashi laced his fingers together with Iruka’s and rested his forehead against their joined hands. “I’m just so tired, but I can't rest until you _wake up_.”

What did Kakashi mean, wake up? Over the past few months, Iruka had grown used to the other man's ramblings and gradually gave up trying to decipher much meaning from them, but something about Kakashi's strange words prompted a flash of memory in his mind. He saw Kakashi standing over him and although his back was to Iruka, the shock of slanted white hair was unmistakable. Fires engulfed nearby buildings and debris rained down around them. Other shinobi raced frantically around their village, battling enemies Iruka could not make out.

The brief fragment, felt at once familiar and confusing to Iruka and tugged at the back of his mind. It was almost like awakening from a partially remembered dream, that once you stop thinking about it, slips away, resting just beyond your recollection, niggling at the edge of your consciousness. This feeling troubled Iruka and he knew he should pay more attention, but seeing Kakashi looking so utterly defeated stirred something even deeper inside Iruka and he brushed his instincts aside. He wasn’t exactly sure when it had started, but he had come to care for this weakened version of Kakashi, whereas he’d barely given the Sharingan Kakashi he was before a second thought. What was it about broken people that attracted him and made him instinctively want to fix them? Hadn’t it been the same with Naruto, and Mizuki before him? But this time it was different and Iruka knew he wanted something more.

Iruka imagined that Kakashi had not ever been this vulnerable in his entire lifetime, not even as a child. Unable to stand watching the other man suffer alone any longer and before he knew what he was doing, Iruka wrapped his arms around Kakashi. Gathering the slimmer man against his chest, Iruka let Kakashi lay his head against his shoulder, and began to stroke his hair gently. Burrowing his face into the crease between Iruka's shoulder and neck, Kakashi's ragged breathing began to slow and return to normal. The feel of Kakashi's warm breath ghosting across his neck sent a shudder through Iruka's body. Iruka felt he just had to help Kakashi find his pieces, and put himself back together as best he could.

From his even, rhythmic breathing, Iruka suspected Kakashi had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He shifted Kakashi slightly and positioned him so he there was room on the bed to sit beside him. Kakashi's head lolled against his shoulder.

 _Iruka, this isn't right. You shouldn't here._ Strange, it sounded like Kakashi voice,  yet Iruka could swear the other man was asleep.

Craning his neck, Iruka peered into Kakashi's face, who appeared to be sound asleep. It was a silly notion but Iruka wondered if perhaps spending so much time around Kakashi was starting to affect his own thinking as well.

~~~

The next time Iruka visited, Kakashi was waiting for him as usual.

Iruka stared down at the mostly reconstructed puzzle in front of them. “I cannot _believe_ how long this is taking us to finish! The pre-genin in my class could do a better job.”

Kakashi simply snorted and Iruka thought he caught a glimpse of the man staring at him before he quickly looked away. It was happening slowly, but the friendship that had grown between him and Kakashi was transforming. Iruka noticed the other man watching him more and more, his glances heated, and the casual physical contact between them also seemed to linger. Following the one time he’d been bold enough to touch Kakashi like he’d wanted to, neither one of them had mentioned it again. In any case, Iruka felt himself falling, but he wasn't certain which Kakashi he was falling for, or whether he even cared which.

“You know,” Kakashi drawled, “the point of a puzzle isn’t how quickly you finish it. The joy comes from watching it gradually come together. Each new piece reveals a smaller part of a larger picture, exposing something new and previously unknown. It’s strange though, I always like to leave one piece out at the end because completing it seems too final.”

Iruka smiled warmly and tentatively rested his hand on Kakashi’s forearm. “You just might be right about that. Although, I have to say, I think I’ve heard you speak more over these past few months than anyone in Konoha ever has before. Contrary to popular belief, well mostly Naruto’s belief, you have some pretty smart things to say sometimes.”

Kakashi guffawed loudly, his entire body shaking in paroxysms of laughter. His uncovered eye still crinkled in mirth, Kakashi spoke between laughs. “Nothing like insanity to sweep away all of your pretenses I guess. You should try it sometime Iruka-sensei. You still seem pretty uptight. Perhaps that will change when you wake up.”

Iruka thought he could get used to spending time with Kakashi like this. When Kakashi’s days were good, Iruka greatly enjoyed the time they spent together, and their engaging conversations. And even when times were bad for Kakashi, in those lost moments, Iruka started to feel as though he needed to be there to shelter him and help him decipher the fragments of his disjointed reality.    

Cocking an eyebrow, Iruka replied snidely. “Oh yeah, I’ll get right on that having a nervous breakdown thing. By the way, why do you keep telling me to wake up? I may have to amend my statement about your smart comments.”

Shoulders sagging, Kakashi turned away from Iruka, bathing his face in the golden light of the afternoon sun. “It's my fault you're like this, Iruka.”

Like what? Iruka felt as though there was something he should remember, but his annoyance at the increasing frequency of Kakashi's cryptic words about him kept that a bay. Lately, he'd even gone as far as approaching Kakashi's doctors. They'd assured him that in Kakashi's perception of reality  he'd hurt Iruka in some manner and that as he vacillated between lucid and non-lucid states these types of things were bound to come out. Iruka wasn't sure he fully bought their explanation, then again, he had nothing else to go by and probing Kakashi led nowhere, only agitating him.  

~~~

“Come back tonight,” Kakashi whispered, as he gently stroked the side of Iruka’s face. The sun was hanging low in the sky outside the room’s tiny window, bathing it in a dull orange light. Iruka knew it was time for him to go. He knew that he should refuse, and the longer he stayed the harder it would be to say no. He leaned into Kakashi’s touch, watching the shadows slowly stretch along the floor. “Okay,” he heard himself whisper in reply as he nodded in acquiescence.

With the Anbu presence around the hospital and Kakashi’s room diminished, it wasn’t difficult for Iruka to slip inside after visiting hours. Before he even had the door fully shut, Kakashi had closed the distance between them. Iruka would have let out a strangled gasp if not for Kakashi's hand covering his mouth. He shuddered as Kakashi’s lithe form pressed up against him, pinning him to the wall beside the door. He’d imagined that months of not training had made Kakashi leaner, yet his body felt sinewy and powerful to Iruka all the same.

The room was dark save for the harsh florescent light of the hallway shining through a narrow window in the door, and Iruka found it strange to be staring into both of Kakashi's eyes. Oddest of all, his sharingan was spinning lazily and this prompted even more questions in his mind. What was Kakashi intending and why had he invited him here?

“Iruka, I want you to promise to listen to everything I have to say and then I'll uncover your mouth. We don't have time for questions.” Even in this strange situation Iruka found himself feeling slightly offended. Was Kakashi implying he talked too much?

He nodded and Kakashi dropped his hand, placing his head so that his lips ghosted against Iruka's ear.

“This hospital isn't safe. I don't have time to explain now, but we have to get you out of here, if we don't you'll may stay like this forever.”

Iruka desperately wanted to interject, to emphasize to Kakashi that he wasn't the one who was hospitalized, instead he steadied his voice and simply said, “Yes, I understand.”

Kakashi's grip on reality was slipping faster than anyone had realized. The man may pose a danger to himself and everyone else in the village and Iruka understood it was his duty not to allow him to leave the hospital. He also knew that even if he somehow managed to subdue Kakashi himself, the man would be locked away so tightly he may never be able to see him again. Iruka wanted to keep Kakashi to himself. He was confident that if only had more time he could help Kakashi to recover. In any case, now was not the time to mull over his conflicted feelings, he had to come up with a strategy. Iruka was confident in his fighting skills, but going up Kakashi meant he was facing another caliber of shinobi altogether. With the sharingan already uncovered, Iruka knew he was already at a disadvantage. _If I can get him talking about his plan, perhaps that will be enough to distract him and hopefully that will give me enough time._

“Kakashi, how do you intend to escape?”

Kakashi launched into the details of his plan while Iruka listened absentmindedly, instead focusing his attention on the space behind the other man. It was a risky gamble and Iruka was sure Kakashi would discover the clone he'd made sneaking up behind him, but he was hedging his bets that Kakashi wouldn't fight openly, to avoid raising any type of alarm hopefully giving him the opportunity to grab him. Iruka only hoped his clone was fast enough that he could hold on to Kakashi while the clone went for help.

As the clone approached, Kakashi stopped mid-sentence, turning swiftly and grabbed it by the throat. Iruka lunged, reaching for him but Kakashi sidestepped him easily.

Still holding the struggling clone, Kakashi turned to face him, eyes narrowed.  From his crouched position, Iruka could see the sharingan spinning faster now and he knew he was in trouble. Kakashi shook his head and when he spoke his voice was harsh and angry. “I'm disappointed. I really thought I could trust you Iruka-sensei. Not to mention, that all of this was for your own good!”

He needed to look away. If Kakashi caught him in genjutsu he may not be able to break out of it.

“It seems we'll have to do this the hard way.”

Iruka felt his body go rigid and as much as he tried he couldn't avert his eyes from Kakashi's. Kakashi had him trapped and there was nothing he could do. What would the man do with him once they left the hospital? Taking in this new, menacing version of Kakashi and adding it to all the others he'd witnessed, Iruka found himself filled with a sense of terror as he lapsed into unconsciousness.

~~~

“Iruka-sensei! Iruka-sensei!”

The voice sounded familiar. It was definitely he should know, but his head felt foggy and it was difficult to place it.

Iruka kept his eyes closed but soon he heard other voices, rising in a chorus around him. There was shouting somewhere, but he was too tired to care much. If Kakashi had managed to escape, naturally there would be a commotion. He wasn't ready for questions now though, he just wanted to rest.

“He's waking up! Go get the doctor!”

“Can you hear me, Iruka-sensei?” The familiar voice from before was back. Slowly, Iruka opened his eyes. Oddly, it felt like a lifetime since he'd done that and the blurry blonde, orange and black blob gradually reshaped itself into a teenage boy. Naruto! Of course he should have known that voice.

 _I can hear_ you, is what he'd intended to say but his throat felt rough and dry, like it'd been rubbed down with sandpaper and all that emerged was a raspy, gravely sound.

He was laying on bed in what looked like Konoha's main hospital, except that with the blackened wall, partially torn off ceiling, he would have to describe it as more of a burned out shell of the former hospital. Outside of what was left of the large windows in the room, from what Iruka could see, the rest of the village reflected a similar state of devastation.

What kind of genjutsu had Kakashi trapped him in anyway? Speaking of Kakashi, he could just make out  his lanky figure leaning casually against one of the walls of the room that remained standing, behind Naruto. He wanted to lash out and yell at the other man for doing this to him, but all he could manage was a squawk.

Although Naruto had been speaking to him ever since he'd opened his eyes, his entire attention was focused on taking in the unbelievable scenes around him.

“Naruto, would you go find out what's taking the doctor so long?” It was Kakashi, speaking in that languid drawl that had become so familiar to Iruka. Something seemed off about him though, but Iruka figured that was an effect of the illusion he was in.

Kakashi strolled over, taking a seat next to his bed. “Iruka-sensei, I'm glad that you're alright. It was pretty touch and go over the past weeks.”

Iruka shook his head, indicating his didn't understand.

“You sustained a pretty serious head injury and the trauma to your brain was significant. Which is why I'm here.” Kakashi's shoulders sagged as he spoke and he slumped down, placing his clasped hands underneath his chin. Iruka's was reminded of the insecure, less confident version of Kakashi he'd often visited in the hospital, and watched him intently as he continued speaking. “The village was attacked by a man known as Pain and during that attack I tried and failed to protect you.” Iruka had the sense that this wasn't the first time Kakashi had come to see him in this world. “I've been coming by everyday, hoping that you'd wake up. If you didn't...”  The movement was painful, using muscles that felt like they hadn't moved from a stationary position for a long time, but Iruka reached out and placed his hand on Kakashi's shoulder.

He wanted to tell the other man that it was alright, that he probably wouldn't have made it at all if not for Kakashi. Then again, he also wanted to tell him how none of this was real and that it didn't matter, even if he couldn't be sure. The destruction and chaos around them felt real enough and so did his concern for Kakashi. Even so, this could all be an elaborate and expertly created illusion. Iruka reached for Kakashi's hand, the man's lanky fingers were cold inside of his own, just liked he remembered. Kakashi looked up at him and although he could just make it out, he thought he saw the other man smile through his mask. As long as Kakashi was beside him, Iruka felt safe and reassured. It was irrational and he knew he should care more, but Iruka thought figuring out whether what he was experiencing now was reality or not could wait until later. He was exhausted and for now, he was content to be crazy. 

 

 


End file.
